Crazy Pills

Most Conservative… by A Milder Despot
February 17, 2009, 4:43 pm
Filed under: A Milder Despot | Tags:


I love overanalyzing music, books, songs, media in general for conservative or pseudoconservative themes and ideology. Thank you, NRO, for throwing more fuel onto the fire.

Following in the footsteps of their “50 Most Conservative Rock Songs” list, National Review has released the “25 Most Conservative Movies.” For those of us who loved the rock songs article (and the hilarious indignant righteous rage of the music fans and artists themselves that followed), this is much welcomed.

I do agree with much of what is said, but the authors of the list ignored some of the blatantly Leftist messages of some of the movies in favor of movies that many would consider to be a heresy to call conservative.

For example, Thank You For Smoking is one of the most consistently conservative movies that I have ever seen (as well as a personal favorite):

Nick Naylor: Gentlemen, it’s called education. It doesn’t come off the side of a cigarette carton. it comes from our teachers, and more importantly our parents. It is the job of every parent to warn their children of all the dangers of the world, including cigarettes, so that one day when they get older they can choose for themselves. I look at my son who was kind enough to come with me today, and I can’t help but think that I am responsible for his growth and his development. And I’m proud of that.
Senator Ortolan Finistirre: Well, having said that, would you condone him smoking?
Nick Naylor: Well, of course not. He’s not 18. That would be illegal.
Senator Ortolan Finistirre: Yes, I’ve heard you deliver that line on 20/20, but enough dancing. What are you going to do when he turns 18? C’mon, Mr. Naylor. On his 18th birthday will you share a cigarette with him? Will you spend a lovely afternoon – like one of your ludicrous cigarette advertisements? You seem to have to have a lot to say about how we should raise our children. What of your own? What are you going to do when he turns 18?
Nick Naylor: If he really wants a cigarette. I’ll buy him his first pack.

Come on! How beautiful is that? Love that scene. They nailed a few of the choices on the list (Team America, 300, Braveheart, Red Dawn), and had a few predictable  selections and a few never-heard-of-em picks.

The snub? Hot Fuzz! I don’t want to spoil the movie for anyone, but suffice to say its message rivals perhaps only Red Dawn in its anti-communitarianism. Plus, it’s a kick-ass action movie that glorifies violence in all forms. What’s more conservative than that?


2 Comments so far
Leave a comment

To call Team America a conservative movie is a little ridiculous. The whole premise was lampooning the idea of American exceptionalism and the idea that we’re are the “world’s policeman”. They hit you over the head with that message every chance they got. I thought it was an hilarious result, but certainly not a conservative one. If hating liberal actors is a conservative plank, then maybe that’s why the Republican party is such a mess. And even then, while calling the actors “pussies”, the movie still noted that sometimes you need a pussy to tell a dick when its fucking too hard. I thought NRO was reaching a little bit calling that one a conservative movie. Thats like thinking Old Man in the Sea is a fishing guide.

Comment by fluffly

Classic line! “Old Man and the Sea is a fishing guide.” I never read it, so I can’t comment.

But I agree that the movie takes shots Left and Right. Team America does, however, unequivocally say: there are bad guys in this world who simply won’t understand anything but the use of force, and force has to be a primary option against them. Indeed, that the “reckless, arrogant, stupid” people on this planet (the American flag-wavers, perhaps) are a necessary and integral part of the political dialogue about the use of force.

I’ll quote the money shot in full:

Gary Johnston: We’re dicks! We’re reckless, arrogant, stupid dicks. And the Film Actors Guild are pussies. And Kim Jong Il is an asshole. Pussies don’t like dicks, because pussies get fucked by dicks. But dicks also fuck assholes: assholes that just want to shit on everything. Pussies may think they can deal with assholes their way. But the only thing that can fuck an asshole is a dick, with some balls. The problem with dicks is: they fuck too much or fuck when it isn’t appropriate – and it takes a pussy to show them that. But sometimes, pussies can be so full of shit that they become assholes themselves… because pussies are an inch and half away from ass holes. I don’t know much about this crazy, crazy world, but I do know this: If you don’t let us fuck this asshole, we’re going to have our dicks and pussies all covered in shit!

Comment by A Milder Despot

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: